this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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My ex has breast cancer.
It's a weird emotion to learn someone who hurt you has a serious illness. Like "yeah, fuck you-- oh. Oh that's way worse."
Yeah unless they really hurt you it's not really a thing to wish to someone
I mean she did but still no.
Like, it's not like she took a kid, or sullied my name, or took money, or ruined the life of anyone close to me. She just kinda deliberately and very dramatically broke my heart.
I'm fine now; it definitely altered the course of my life and definitely caused a lot of pain, struggle, isolation, depression, humiliation, anxiety, etc. And a decade ago I was sure I hoped she'd face the same. Well she'll face all of what she put me through... And way more... Under the threat of death.
It felt like finding out your hero is a fraud, if that makes sense. Like "Oh, this is actually not what I wanted at all. This is not cool. This sucks. And is actually pretty depressing."
I agree that you should not wish harm on them, but don't downplay how bad heartbreak can be. It affects both your physical and mental health, and I'm certain the latter of which can last a long time, not so sure if the physical health gets affected as permanently or not. Anyway, mental health damage alone can have terrible effects on your life.
Also, the other things you mentioned are bad too, but those usually happen in addition to heartbreak, so it's easy to think that those are worse but heartbreak aside they have their own level of terribleness.
I can't imagine how tough that must be to process. I'm sorry
It is oddly a difficult thing to wrestle with. Thankfully I am healthy, I guess, you know? Appreciated.
If there's one piece of advice I (as a complete stranger) can offer is that it will likely take a long time to process. Be patient with yourself
My ex committed suicide about a year after we separated and I am still in high school now. That was a fucking experience and a half.