this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2023
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Some thoughts on the above.
spoiler
More thought is often good thought. But not always. Seems like you've invented your own version of a Rite of Passage - a formal bookending of a ..... a ...... a ....... period in your life. Dunno how to put it more succinctly or accurately.Whatever works for you. Rites of Passage are not always easy - that's not the point. The point is to underline an ending of a plateau, and kickstart but not complete the steps needed to move to the next level. Which can involve climbing mountains. Mental and physical. It's just fine to grieve for the past if there's good stuff there that you are leaving behind, but the real task is to step forward into the future. This requires courage. Which you have in abundance. I have great faith in you.
Thank you for your wise and very genuinely encouraging words o wise Witch of the North. (Not meant to be condescending at all just to be clear - I hold your opinions in high esteem!)
That next step is definitely feeling wobbly and into a great unknown and part of me craves just a bit more stability at this age. I sometimes bitterly envy people who have a safety net of secure family (original or found/created) but that'll do me no good, gotta work with what I have.
I do feel more settled after writing down those thoughts and also doing a bit of a spring clean with the clothes. Sometimes, seasonal rituals and actions are very helpful when all else seems uncertain. Clear out the old and let in the new ✨