this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2023
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Socially, to echo another commenter, I remain in a fundamental way the same shy person that I’ve always been. One friend once described me as looking like a young boy in a built man’s body, which, especially when I’m anxious, is probably accurate.
At the same time, dating has transformed completely. I totally pull at bars/concerts and on apps in a way I didn’t when I was less fit. The nice thing about being shy and fit is that I can lean into the shyness coming off as being demure/adorable and people are generally down with that.
More than anything though, I’m healthy, and that feels really good. I enjoy leaving my house. I want to be in situations where my heart rate elevates and I engage my senses and work my body. In this sense, I feel like I put myself out into the world a lot more than I did when I was less fit.
It's kind of interesting to me that on the one hand you're socially shy but seem to be bold enough to hit on people? At least I'm assuming you are, and that you aren't yet so attractive women openly and directly hit on you :p That seems to be unlikely for most people from what I see...
I think the difference is that 1:1 I’m pretty okay — it’s just when I’m trying to engage with a group that I start to feel uncomfortable.
Also a gay dude if that changes the equation? Especially at concerts, sometimes all it takes to start something is the right kind of eye contact.
Oh, interesting! I'd wager the other side being male probably helps a lot. I'd recently talked to some women about something similar, and only one in ten had ever hit on or asked out someone directly.
In any case, props to you!