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[The Guardian] There is no moral high ground for Reddit as it seeks to capitalise on user data
(www.theguardian.com)
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Except email is hugely centralized now (with Google and Microsoft) even though it's technically a federated protocol. So there's a huge barrier to entry to spin up your own federated server if you actually want to send/receive any mail with it... I think the lesson here is that we need to be constantly vigilant about potential centralization in the Lemmybin Fediverse as well.
There's no more barrier to spinning up one's own email server than there has ever been. One simply needs, at a minimum, a server in the internet, a DNS domain, and know how.
A server on the internet has never been easier, thanks to cloud providers. In fact, many cloud providers will give you a working email server, so that you don't need to do all the sysadmin things to get software like Bind or Postfix up and running. These hosting providers make it pretty simple run your own personal email server and domain.
The big providers are successful because most folks don't want to stand up their own email server, they just want to use email. But anyone can go it, if they have the time and interest.
It's not that simple with mail. Most centralized mail servers have strict requirements for domains that they will not sort into spam, and if you are sending a lot of mail from your personal server, you will probably end up on a spam list. I don't do it, so I am not an expert, but hosting your own email server to do anything useful is pretty complicated.
Still, I guess you could argue that this is as it should be, as it prevents people from making spam servers, while still theoretically not being impacted that much for personal use servers. But I don't personally know anyone who seriously hosts their own email server anymore.
You're right about the difficulty in running the mail software on a server you administer, but hosting companies can take care of that for you. It's not hard to run your own mall service, if you go with service as a service instead of rolling your own infrastructure.
I've got no less than 5 different domains with my own email service, and I don't have to deal with the complexities you reference. My hosting provider handles that for me.