this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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Does your kid never return texts? (self.parenting)
submitted 1 year ago by FlyingSquid to c/parenting
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Assuming they're old enough to have a phone, obviously.

I have to send my daughter reminders to do things all the time because she's extremely forgetful. She's not annoyed by that, she's asked me to do it. And whenever I send her one, I get a read receipt and no reply. And I've told her a bunch of times that it's rude to not reply to texts like that, but she keeps doing it.

It's driving me crazy. She's a good kid, but why doesn't she return texts?!

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[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I read this as a former child and never-to-be parent: Child got tasked with chores, got overwhelmed, forgot some or chose which to deem more important and you disagreed, then both of you had a short, intense conversation about forgetting things where child (kind of) agreed to reminders by you.

Why is the child really forgetting things? Just saying 'probably ADHD' or 'doesn't want to do them' is not enough at all.

Why aren't you teaching the child how to do reminders autonomously?

Why do the reminders need a reply? If the child is unable to do the reminded thing, applying additional pressure by requiring a unique answer won't help. If the reminders are actually trying to confirm pieces of collaborative work, the texts are not reminders at all, because reminders are optional by nature. These semantics are important, because it completely changes the discussion.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I am a parent and I agree with you. There is so much wrong about OP's expectations. You summarized it pretty nicely.

One thing is to actually talk to your kid about managing their own shit. It is not my responsibility. I have enough shit to manage for myself. Oh yeah, you forget things? Feel the pain what it means to forget stuff! You don't know how to make reminders or appointments? Learn it, for God's sake!