United States | News & Politics

Austin is a town founded by conservatives and filled with a bunch of limp-wristed hipsters who have overpopulated the area around 35. The conservatives still own the city from the outskirts and downtown has been sold to big corporations. The only reason Austin calls itself "liberal" is to attract artists so that the city could sell tickets to anyone who fancied themselves as edgy in Texas. I think there truly was a spirit of Austin, but now it's a lot of delusional misguided corporate shills getting high on their own supply of bullshit. Sure, the food is nice and the music is good, but there is nothing that's more ironic than Austin's slogan to "keep Austin weird" since Austin really is now painfully predictable and boring. Austin is a dried out plain-ass donut that once sat near sprinkles and now thinks it's a chocolate-glazed and that it can't get sprinkles because the rest of the state won't let it. Austin is where liberal ideals go to die.

I don't know what the answer is to fix Texas, but it starts with removing some of the worst ghouls to exist from our politics and then kicking the corporations out of Austin. I'm proud of you for being too extreme for Austin and I'm glad you got out before the city convinced you that it was just too underground and counterculture before eating you. If Austin had more people like you, it might be less of a farce and an actual cool place.

But Austin isn't an example of the true fear held by Texans. That's just a bunch of temporary inhabitants who want to cosplay as liberals. I know they vote blue, butt as you'd probably say, "it's only Texas blue."