homeassistant

Connect your lamps to the cloud now. Because we value your privacy. Your lamps will not work without the cloud. But because we value your privacy, we collect neccessary diagnostic data such as

1. Lamp on and off times
2. Lamp color
3. When the sexy-times preset is used
4. How often you use your bathroom light

We will use this data to sell you Philips Avent baby bottles 9 months after sexy time, when the bathroom light started to be used in shorter intervals but more often as if by a pregnant woman who needed to pee more often but shorter, Philips oral shower when your bathroom light wasn't on long enough to floss in the morning at least 3 times last week and a Philips vacuum cleaner if the lights never got bright enough so you'd see the dust buildup, thus you probably didn't vacuum, disgusting little customer-person. All of that because we value your privacy.