My theory is that they are living in a world of hierarchies and apologizing is admitting a mistake, which takes them down a few levels on the hierarchy of power/popularity.
this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2023
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I'd like them to acknowledge what they did wrong even if they didn't mean to hurt me? It really doesn't take much
But isn't that the point? They don't think that they did something wrong. They didn't intend to hurt you with their action, which they try to convey to you, but they don't think that their action was wrong in principle. Like baking an apple pie for a group where someone is allergic to apples and they didn't know that or simply just forgot. The action of baking a pie is not something to apologize for even if someone felt left out because they couln't eat it and therefore were hurt.
I didn't interpret this comic to be about situations like baking an apple pie for someone they didn't know is allergic to apples. Who would call that "acting really awful?" I interpreted it as when someone does something mean or hurtful, like actually genuinely hurtful that they should not have done and should not do again, and they refuse to acknowledge it just because their intention wasn't to hurt someone's feelings. This is how people respond when I ask them to, e.g., stop saying bigoted things or using manipulation tactics.
And I interpreted the comic about a situation/action that hurt person A without the intention of person B. Like genuinely nothing that hurts most people and person B couldn't have known that their action was offensive/hurtful to person A. How would you like to be apologized to in that situation? "I'm sorry I hurt you" would probably be the answer for most people. But for me "I'm sorry" goes hand in hand with changing your actions in the future. You can't change something you don't know. You can say that you're sorry, but you can't guarantee that you won't hurt the person with another action again. Therefore the only thing you can apologize for is the action itself and as I said I interpeted that the action was harmless/not offensive for most people. Therefore apologizing for doing the action seems unfair to me. It wasn't your intention to hurt the other person and you'll refrain from doing the action again in the vicinity of person A.
If I interpret the comic your way I don't see how being pushed/forced to say "I'm sorry" would mean anything. If the person has bigoted views, therefore says something bigoted and you rightfully tell them that hurt you but they don't see what they did wrong, you demanding to be apologized to won't change their view. I'd even say that saying "I'm sorry" is used as an manipulation tactic since it's often used as a get-out-of-jail-free card. If you don't change your actions "I'm sorry" doesn't mean anything. And if you have to be forced to say I'm sorry (and therefore don't seem to see something wrong in your actions) it's the same as saying nothing at all.