ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

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Results are in of my long ADHD diagnosis process and it is a resounding: Maybe (self.adhd)

submitted 1 year ago by RQG to c/adhd

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I'm posting because I'm a bit bummed out I guess. I began the whole diagnosis process because I wanted clarity of wtf is going on with me. A clear no it's not ADHD would maybe even have been a more satisfying answer than this.

Apparently I either have ADHD and my high intelligence allows me to compensate so much it masks symptoms for the tests. They did two intelligence tests which came out way above average it seems. I hope this doesn't come off as bragging. It really isn't as much of a gift as it may seem.

Or I don't have ADHD but my cognitive function shows some similarities. And I'm also super smart. But somehow I can't put it to use when it comes to my life due to issues with emotional regulation and tolerance for frustration which I don't have much off.

How this affects my life is I can't focus or do things I don't find interesting at all. Same with things that don't offer anything new to me. Being intelligent means I understand and figure out new things super quickly. But that means I get bored quicker and then struggle to do the thing. So I hopped jobs, surprise everyone how crazy good I am at the job and what a fast learner I am and whatnot. Then I hop job to the next. It never amounts to anything. And I got burnout or boreout. Depression. All that fun stuff.

Buf They can't tell for sure which one it is by the metrics they use. Which just is so unsatisfying after it took to long.

The good news is the result still qualifies me for trying out meds should I decide to do so. Same for getting therapy paid for by insurance. It's nice to have options so I'm happy for that.

Thanks for letting me vent my frustrations.

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[–] leakybits 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel you, I'm in a similar boat.

As a kid I excelled in school but was often bored, so much so that I eventually refused to go. My parents were worried and took me to a child psych, who determined I was gifted.

Now as an adult, I'm a mess. I'm constantly "painfully bored", unsure how to relax, unable to do things I enjoy because, unless I'm extremely interested/hyperfocused, I can't really enjoy them. My psych tells me to keep a list of the things I enjoy doing to help fill out my free time but it doesn't help because, in those moments of painful boredom, I can't actually force myself to do anything on the list. The only thing I want to do is work on whatever project I'm currently obsessed with, and if there's no such project, I just feel painfully bored. And I never actually finish any of these projects; I'm constantly jumping from one obsession to the next.

Work is similarly a mess. I'm fortunate enough to have a full time job that aligns with my personal interests/hobbies. But what this means for me is, I'm hyperfocused when the work is interesting, but completely unable to focus when it's not. There were times I would pretend to be working but I'd actually be out wandering the city, doing only a couple hours of real work each day, and there were times I'd pull something like 80 hour weeks where all I could think about was the work. I manage to hide the mess pretty well from my company though; they think I'm great, gave me a huge bonus, promoted me to senior, etc.

I'm on burnout leave now though, so I've got a fair bit of time off to sort myself out. And after jumping from psych to psych for a while, I found one who sent me off to get a formal ADHD assessment. It was my sister actually who kick-started the process for me, as she recently got diagnosed with it (as an adult) and suggested that I look into it for myself. I'll get the results next week, so let's see.

[–] RQG 3 points 1 year ago

I hope you'll get a result that is helpful to you. A lot of what you say resonates with me. Not being able to choose what you can do without it being a pain is a struggle for sure. It sounds like you found a job which at least kind of works for you sometimes. I'm currently in the process of changing jobs. Again.