this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
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Animals with Jobs
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Is it an animal? Does it have a job? Then it belongs here!
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The standard rate is 3 good boys, 2 head pats, and 2 slightly too hard rib slaps.
A one treat bonus should make this right with the NAAGD.
I'm sorry, WHAT. A one-treat bonus for a god-damned 7 OUNCE truffle!? STRIKE!!!
The National Association for the Advancement of Good Dogs recognizes their constituents needs for attention from their family over treats.
We also recognize that table scraps count as treats and know that if we have too many, we will go from being Good Dogs, to Bad Dogs, after uncontrollably shitting or vomitting on the floors.
While we understand some of our base wishes for unlimited scraps and treats, we must also recognize that the health of our members is paramount over gluttony.
We are willing to go to the table for discussion if you want to settle on two treats... But anything more than two will require a good faith act of tricks for more.
That dog gets at least an ounce of that truffle or all dog work remains on hold.
Why would you just post this publicly? What do you want dogs unionizing?!
(Not op but...) Better than cats unionizing. Oh good gods imagine the chaos.
Felines are largely incapable of organizing (see: "herding cats"), though some wild varieties have been observed subjugating a single breeding male for babysitting/guard duties while the females hunt and otherwise run shit.
Sources quote a lack of motivation and need for performing micromanagement as the source of no cat unions.