this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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How to deal with bullies? (self.autism)
submitted 1 year ago by medvedev to c/autism
42 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm 13y old that was recently diagnosed with ASD. School is starting soon, they surely haven't changed nor a little bit. They're just bunch of idiots that like to express their pain and anger on others. Or just fool them for fun. Reporting them does nothing (have been doing that for almost 6 years). It's like reporting system in CP (Club Penguin), no one is even sure if it even does anything. I never do anything to them, I just stare at them or do something else. That I have blank face or sound calm dosen't mean that I'm calm. When I answer in short sentences that either means that I don't have inspiration to talk or that I hold lots of emotions in me. And, about blank face... I ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE BLANK FACE. I almost never express my emotions on my face. So, should I just throw a tantrum without caring for consequences or act tought. Does entire community of ASDers need to act like douchebags just to not be an easy target for bullying?!

P.S I've posted this in c/autism because I feel like this problem is deeply tied with my personality. -medvedev-

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

My go-to is a three step process. The first insult goes unheard, the second goes one of three ways. If the insult is minor, in case they're "ribbing" I'll give the benefit of the doubt and give a shrug or other "I know I'm weird, but I like it that way" sort of response. If the insult is severe or out-and-out malicious, I'll give a very muted, unemotional response, like "uh huh..." Or "glad you think so..."

If they go for a third to get a rise out of you, go for the throat. Make direct, fierce, and very forced eye contact. Completely face them. If you know them, you could opt to make a very grave, personal insult on something that you know will cut them deeply, but it must be acurate and not at all overstated. I don't use that approach anymore, but instead the better option is to call them out within earshot of others. Show the anger on your face but show none in your voice. "Does anyone else feel like this guy likes being a prick? Does anyone else think he's cool because he's an asshole?" Draw eyes. Call out his name. Ask if anyone else thinks he's a bully. Put the spotlight on him without drawing on any direct insult.