this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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This is pretty surprising to me. In my experience (as a woman myself) women are much more likely than men to be vocally supportive of treating sex work like any other service and of breaking the taboo of offering or receiving those services.
I actually can’t think of any woman in my life who would judge someone negatively for seeing a sex worker (assuming full consent from all involved parties including partners). Most men I know would similarly have no issue with it, but a handful would read it as not being able to get laid and see that as something negative.
My social circle isn’t representative of the general population, but I’m still surprised to hear your experience is dramatically different. I wonder if the way the conversations are going make the issue more about consent, cheating, or other non-sex-work-specific ethical questions.
I have sometimes seen a phenomenon where people are very supportive of things until they are affected directly, and then they are supportive of those things in other people’s lives.
At least from my personal experience talking to people, I find that a lot of women support "sex work" as some sort of nebulous concept, but when it comes to the real world, and actually interacting with it beyond just theoretical discussions about empowerment, there's often a lot less acceptance.
Basically, there exists a mental gap between "I support sex workers as a general idea of empowering people in bad situations" and "I support the direct exchange of money for sex as a service people want"
Ok but also, I’ve dated sex workers and that’s why I’m a bit yeeshy around people who hire them until I know they’re cool. I’ve heard stories.
Like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hiring a sex worker. There are plenty of good reasons to do so. There are things where it’s better to hire a sex worker than to ask for from a hookup. And despite all of that, it’s not a trait that leaves one in the best company. Honestly, the best comparison I can think of is being a lawyer.
People supporting sex work being legal and the non-acceptance of people using sex workers in illegal/non consensual situations are congruous positions.
I think more women would be understanding to men paying for sex than men would be to women paying for it.