internet funeral

You could finger-gun this guy in the back of the head and he'd still go nuh-uh, you didn't get me, I teleported.

Dude is just fully incapable of imagining a situation where he's fucked. He's the protagonist of reality. Legitimately thinks he could fall off a skyscraper and land on his feet. Which is a million times less ridiculous than this submarine, where incomprehensible pressures forced the interior contents to the size of a gumball in a matter of microseconds.

Every human being in that tin can briefly occupied the same cubic inch. You can't shrug that off. Not even a blue whale is "built different" enough to survive those pressures, let alone the force of having those pressures applied all-at-once. Especially when pV=nRT, meaning the air temperature inside the cabin - and inside its former occupants - was raised several thousand degrees. Not for long, though. That glowing-hot paste of organic matter was immediately slapped against a wall of ice-cold seawater, sluicing it through cracks in the opposite end of the wreckage, leaving a small cloudy region surrounded by pitch darkness.

To which that guy would say, "I'd have dodged."