this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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I need some advice from the internet;

I haven't been dating for quite a few years now, but I'm finally in a position where I can think about this kind of stuff. I'm a chef that regularly visits my local dispensery after work. Partly because of the cute girl working there with whom I've been chatting quite a bit recently. Last week we stood there chatting for over 10 minutes while she left her colleague to help the other customers there. She says her and a friend are coming over to lunch at the place I work at next week. It's not like she's been giving me super obvious signs (or I'm just oblivious to them, which I'm not ruling out), but again, she's super cute.

Is it appropriate for me to ask her out for a drink? I honestly don't know if I should or not. It does feel kinda weird asking someone out at their place of work and I don't want to put her in an awkward situation.

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[–] AttackBunny 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I’m going to go along with most of the other replies. If she’s at work, she’s being nice because that’s her job. I’ve had many men take that the wrong way, and it’s uncomfortable. Like dude, I HAVE to be nice to you. I don’t necessarily WANT to.

If you run into her in the wild, or she comes into your work, I think that’s ok, BUT be prepared to never go back to her work again. Especially if she says no.

If she’s with a bunch of her friends, I’d say to not ask them either, unless you can do it very quietly. Someone else mentioned slipping her your number, and letting it be from there. I’d say that’s probably a good plan of attack. Definitely don’t just walk up to a table with her and her friends and ask her out in front of everyone though.

[–] ThisIsMySecretAccount 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Normally asking her out probably wouldn't even have occurred to me. She said that when she's coming over for lunch, she'd come to the kitchen to say hi. That's kinda what gives me the vibes she's not just being nice to me for her job. If I'm gonna make a move, it's probably then.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I said this in another comment, but I think the best plan if you can would be bring out her order yourself. Then have waiter/waitress leave your name and number on the check. Real sly, you get personal interaction and don't put her on the spot.

But it sounds like things are looking up for you buddy. Hope we get a follow up!

[–] AttackBunny 2 points 1 year ago

The comment about coming to the kitchen to say hi is important context. I'm inclined to agree with you, that she isn't just being nice, with that info.

I definitely say go for it, but do it in a way that doesn't put her on the spot, in front of other people. Good luck! Hopefully there will be an exciting update.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

She said that when she's coming over for lunch, she'd come to the kitchen to say hi.

This is kinda cheesy but I’d have said something like “That’s so sweet, but wouldn’t it be easier to just text me?” and then offer her my number when/if she says she doesn’t have it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

BUT be prepared to never go back to her work again. Especially if she says no.

I don't think that's necessary. Unless the OP is pushy and a creep just asking, accepting a no, and moving on shouldn't bar them from the dispensary forever.