this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
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Uh oh. Uh oh uh oh uh oh. Was having a good enough day, but after being made aware of some stuff at work that is very very relevant to my particular skill set but purposely kept from me because of some contrived administrative procedural thing that I am still completely unclear about, I am having a Moment trying to regulate the rush of trauma-response emotions of being unworthy or punished or abandoned, and also unprecedented rage trying not to scream I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN. This is definitely a Bad Vibe.
I am going to read some saved emails of people saying very lovely things to me and then reach out to some friends. Specifically one who works in actual proper HR and can tell me the calm factual aspects of what's going on, what the next steps are and how to resolve it with assertiveness, instead of getting struck in angry toddler space.
probably an obvious comment to make but if you are feeling it, take some notes on the situation at hand, being as factual as you can given the circumstances. contemporaenous notes are powerful documents to possess during conflicts and when things go to shit.
Yeah, I'm starting to realise I should've taken more notes from last week too to assess what is reasonable and what isn't in this context. Never mind, I'm here now. Have a lot more clarity now after a long chat with a friend who works in HR and knows what I've been dealing with
fair deal friend, and its real good to hear you've got some clarity, shout out to ya mate in HR hey what a legend
Yeah she's awesome. One of my longest friends here and she's a real stand up mate. Thank goodness I spoke to her because now I think I know what's going on (work seems to be behaving like I'm angling for workers comp, which I haven't even the foggiest idea about and isn't remotely my intention)
honestly that's so awesome of her, i always wanted to know what it was like on the inside and its so great that you can get that perspective bc workplaces get real funny when it comes to this kinda thing
in a job awhile back there were multiple claims against one staff member and the gov paid several people out due their behaviour. yet hr had the audacity to emphasise on numerous occasions that nobody was guilty, the workplace environment was safe, yadda yadda
but anyway stoked you got some perspective on your situation and again i hope it mellows out for ya
This is a good approach. I hope it pays off.
It made all the difference. especially as one of the nice emails (honestly the nicest email I've ever received professionally) is from the same client org that relates to this latest episode of poor project management. I know I'm not shit and unworthy, take that inner wounded child!
You're an inspiration! 💪
An inspiration who needs to write up a whole bunch of paperwork around stupid nonsense now in order to keep working... aaaaand now I'm just drained after coming back from the GP and am gonna curl up and sleep early
One day at a time my dear....one day at a time