Not The Onion

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End of an era: Zoom tells employees to return to office for work (nypost.com)

submitted 2 years ago by Late2TheParty to c/nottheonion

142 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I guess this could just as easily be posted in an anti-work community

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[–] [email protected] 298 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (12 children)

I can't think of a worse marketing strategy for a company that relies on remote work to remain relevant. This would be like if General Motors forced every employee within 50 miles of an assembly plant to ride a bike to work.

[–] MajorHavoc 70 points 2 years ago (7 children)

These are fun. For any other CEOs reading along, here's your new policy/advertisement:

Furniture Row could convert every employee workstation to standing only.
Starbucks could require every staff member to go caffeine free.
Underarmor could set a black tie dress code for all employees.
Master lock could shut down their staff gym citing uncontrolled theft from lockers.
Grayhound could ban employees from traveling together to events.
General Mills could establish a rewards program for employees who participate in a daily morning fast until lunchtime.
Atlassian and Salseforce could shift their internal help desks to in-person only with 100% paper records.
Peterbilt could start an incentive program that reimburses staff for buying local.

[–] FlyingSquid 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Microsoft could require Macs for all employees.
Xfinity could only offer dialup at their offices.
Dairy Queen could only hire diabetics.
The cafeteria at Purdue Farms headquarters could be all-vegan.
Barnes and Noble staff must have a library card and check out books regularly.
Amazon delivery drivers must have their license suspended.
Bed, Bath and Beyond could require their floor staff to only come in if they haven't showered.

[–] wavebeam 3 points 2 years ago

Didn’t BBB go under, close all their stores, and sell their name to overstock.com?

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