this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You are normal and have every right to be bothered by it. Have a chat with them and let them know how much it bugs you, and offer them an easy fix: just provide context.

[–] Saraphim 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I guess that’s what I’m here for, context. I feel like I can’t adequately explain why it’s upsetting when I can’t even explain it to myself. It seems like such a small silly thing to object to but it really freaking stresses me out and ticks me off. Sometimes other people’s thoughts help give context to your own.

[–] RojaBunny 9 points 10 months ago

I think some of the other commenters pointing out that it reads as a command is probably a big one, but you did a pretty good job of explaining it here (imo). Even just saying to him that you want a heads up of if it's good or bad and working out a system so you don't stress would probably be a marked improvement for you, and I would bet it'd be an easy fix.