this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
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Mental Health

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Hey everyone,
I [28F] need some advice on handling anxiety when job hunting.

Almost a week ago I finished school and I'm once again without work. I've been job hunting about 40-50% of my adult life and it has taken a huge toll on my mental health to the point where I'm barely able to apply for jobs anymore. I have gotten a few warnings over the years due to not applying to enough jobs. ( I live in Sweden btw )

I have tried taking breaks.
I have tried waiting for the anxiety to pass.
I have asked so many for advice but it's like they all give the same default answer. If their advice where enough, I would be a pro at job hunting.

I did get an autism diagnosis a few years back and I do feel better about myself, more confident and understanding of how I work so I think this time around will be different, but it's like the old anxiety still hangs around and I don't know how to get rid of it.

Please if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

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[–] JigglySackles 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I get some bad anxiety with job hunting as well. For interviews, arrive early, you'll have to learn how to gauge how early, but for me I like to park 30 mins before. I then sit in my car, ask a couple questions to myself, final check I have what I need, and then I set an alarm for about 8 mins before I want to be at the front desk. And I spend the time until that alarm, calming myself down. Reassuring myself that if it's the right job it will work out and they will see what I can offer. Reassuring myself that I am what I am and I am not going to improve enough to matter in the next minutes I have till my alarm. I empty my thoughts, and accept that it can go either way and that will be OK. Sometimes I lay my head back and listen to music, but in all cases I find a way to relax before going into the interview, alarm goes off, grab things, get out of car, adjust clothing, and go for it, reassuring myself I can do nothing more to prepare. Which is a different sentiment than I did all I could because I can reason that I could've done more. But if I've done all I can, it let's it be final. Maybe I could've done more, but I'm done now and this is it and that's OK.

Kind of a lot to describe a very small process but that little pre interview ritual let's me be OK with things, ready or not, I am what I am. Good luck with your search!

[–] CoffeeTails 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But there is a lot. Thank you!
It's really comforting to know I'm not alone in this.

[–] JigglySackles 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are absolutely not alone. I'm applying to Sr. and lead positions at this point in my career, and I've been nervous every single time I've interviewed anywhere. I don't think it's about to stop either because my most current job was my most nerve wracking. You aren't alone, and you'll be OK. 🙂

It may also help to remind yourself that you want the kind of job that wants you back. That will become clear later on in your career, but finding a job that wants you and not just a warmish body makes a huge difference in how you feel after you start the job.

[–] CoffeeTails 1 points 1 year ago

I think I know that feeling, when a job wants me. I've never experienced it before. The boss acted different than the others, it felt like he was really rummageing through his brain to find a way while the others just shruged it off.

I had a trainee period at a company nerby (through school). They work mostly backend but want to expand to frontend development but haven't managed to get a job deal with another yet.