You're not an asshole. The way you treat a dog makes a huge difference. Unfortunately these two are treated like kids. One of the family members wanted to get a husky at first, at least we managed to steer them away from that.

So yes, they are also not good dog owners. But we also had labradors and they were treated the same but never were agressive. Never. Dumb? Absolutely. Happy goofballs? Absolutely. And a lot better as doodles.

Both of the doodles have issues with allergies and skin stuff. And food. They are very peculiar about the food. Allergic to half of it, and some of what they can handle they just don't eat because they don't like it.

Both family members have racked up considerable cost at the vet. The health issues are real. Especially when we did not have the different energies figured out.

And really, what kind of dog is allergic to fucking grass? Grass, of all things??

TLTR: don't get a doodle, get a real dog. And train it properly. Cheers.