cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/32492690
Edit: Image description for Brits:
Dragon Rider (drag) being banned from the following communities for sharing DMs:
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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I've read and joined a couple of discussions about this and in one of them, it turned out the people complaining about this ""pronoun issue"" were just bigots under the hood. I hope you're not one of them.
In the end, Blåhaj Lemmy's rules are to respect pronouns, no exceptions. You're posting in a Blåhaj community thread. This is just to inform you that if you want to continue to not be potentially banned instance-wide, you might want to not go through with your "threat" of not using someone's preferred pronouns.
Replace drag with a lesbian trans woman and suddenly the same argument of "not wanting to consent to playing into someone's kink" becomes INCREDIBLY problematic. This is of course not what you're doing. But in the end, it doesn't matter what someone identifies with or what their supposed kink is because of their choice of name. Judge what they're saying and doing, not who they are.
I didn't make any threats, I'm not sure where that came from.
If I'm banned for standing up for consent, then that's a ban I'll wear with pride.
There is a difference between gender and sexual preferences, so I'm not sure why you're equating this with "lesbian trans women." I have never met a lesbian that insisted I refer to her as "womanfucker." That would be absurd and gross.
But, hypothetically, if a trans woman were to call herself that, would you then misgender her?
Not referring to someone by their sexual appetites is not misgendering, period. Sexual attraction and gender are two separate things, I'm not sure when this became controversial. The very premise of your question is invalid.
That implies that you have absolute, undeniable proof of drag's "sexual appetites", and in extension that calling drag by drag's preferred pronouns is somehow playing into their sexual fantasies, otherwise your appeal to consent doesn't really matter. Do you have such proof?
I do! The profile explains it! Unless it has been changed, the profile explicitly states this. Drangonfucker is a version of dragon rider, one who has sex with dragons and that's why the pronoun drag is chosen. All according to the profile!
Is that enough proof? Claiming that simply using someone's pronouns is playing into their sexual fantasies and they somehow get a kick out of that is, in my opinion, pretty far fetched. It's also entirely possible "drag" is chosen simply because it's a shortened version of "dragonrider" or "dragonfucker", rather than drag being a "sex pest" and "predator". I feel like a community full of diverse folk and minorities will have the experience needed to identify such a person when they become a problem and remove them. Drag is not that.
I also feel like it's not far away from a transphobe claiming they "don't consent" to respecting trans people because "they don't want men in woman's spaces" and "it's just a kink".
It is clearly the intent, but you are determined to not accept it, and that's fine. I don't engage with the individual, but when people try to state that having an issue with it is bigoted, I feel the need to speak up. This is boundary pushing behavior, and it will not get better by defending it.
Boundary pushing in what way?