Mental Health

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How can you escape toxic people if you're too hurt from them? (self.mentalhealth)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Lost_Soul to c/mentalhealth

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm 21/male and already lived on my own but I was forced to move back to my toxic parents 2 years ago because I wasn't able to live on my own because of my depression that was caused by the trauma from my parents (the only alternative I had was being homeless).

I was taken away from my parents when I was 12 and the fact that I now live with the people again who are the cause of my misery makes me feel like I'm paralyzed and I don't know how to escape this situation.

I'm a very sensitive person and always seek positivity and thoughtful interactions. Especially my dad is the exact opposite of that and is the most direct and rude person I ever met in my life. Every time my dad see's me he lectures and devalues me in the most direct and aggressive tone imaginable to the point where I'm too afraid to leave my room when he's in the house. He even criticizes me when I don't touch the door properly and leave fingerprints or when I left a few water drops at the sink as if I murdered someone and he leaves threatening messages on paper across the house. And everywhere he goes he spreads negative energy. (I'm obviously not doing anything wrong and he's just dissatisfied with himself and he makes way bigger/actual mistakes.)

As a highly sensitive and reactive person this makes me deeply depressed and makes me feel I'm incapable of escaping it on my own. I know that I have potential but I can't use it because the circumstances are paralyzing me. It's like being trapped in hell and the fact that this hell is so damaging/hurtful to me makes me unable to escape. I feel like it's destroying me!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I have already decided I would rather live in a homeless shelter than with my parents. I have generally done okay when I have lived in homeless shelters, and I have done extremely poorly when I’ve lived with my parents.

Despite the material difficulty, psychologically the shelter is a much better environment for me.

Is this an option for you? Our society does have systems to help you out, if you don’t want to rely on your parents.

[–] Lost_Soul 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Thanks for the tip but I think I'm probably too sensitive for that. But I'm considering it

[–] Bell 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think there won't be a solution that's painless. All through life we find ourselves with choices full of compromise. I think take a hard look at all your choices and decide which has less pain. Then start finding ways to mitigate the pain you do have to live with.

Totally a made up example: life sucks at home, so get a job that keeps you busy out of the house for as long as possible.

[–] Lost_Soul 3 points 2 weeks ago

True!

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