this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)
  • Push directly to master, not main
  • No command line args, just change the global const and recompile
  • No env vars either
  • Port numbers only go up to 5280, the number of feet in a mile
  • All auth is just a password; tokens are minority developers, not auth, and usernames are identity politics
  • No hashes โ€“ it's the gateway drug to fentanyl
  • No imports. INTERNAL DEVELOPERS FIRST
  • Exceptions are now illegal and therefore won't occur, so no need to check for them
  • SOAP/XML APIs only
  • No support for external machines. If it's good enough for my machine, it's good enough for yours.