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Two hunters (startrek.website)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/jokes

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Two hunters are walking through the woods. One of them suddenly stops and points ahead of him,

"Look. Is that bear shit?"

"Where?"

He points again, "there! Go check."

"Looks like bear shit."

"Touch it."

"Whaaat?"

"Touch it. Make sure it's shit."

He pokes a finger into it, "Ugh. It feels like shit."

"Smell it."

"Whaaaat?!"

"Smell it and make sure it's shit."

The hunter takes a whiff and gags, "Yeah, it smells like shit."

"Taste it."

"What the fuck?!"

"Taste it! We want to be sure it's shit!"

The hunter licks the finger he earlier poked it with and vomits, "It tastes like shit!"

"Hm. Must be shit. Good thing we didn't step in it."