Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Yes, I can relate!
Even though clothes, makeup etc aren't inherently gendered, a lot of people (myself included) have pretty strong associations between those items and binary genders. That person with long hair, wearing mascara, lipstick and a skirt? I'm going to assume they're trying to present feminine and identify as a woman^*^.
Before coming out, I spent a long time trying very hard to be a man. Avoiding femininity. That cute outfit? Not for you, bad!. Long hair? Not for you, bad!, Make up? Run away! Not for you! Associating with women? You'd better only be looking for sex, not someone you identify with. For someone who grew up in a very binary, gender-conforming environment, it was a learned instinct for self-preservation.
So of course when I start trying out feminine stuff, all that internalized misogyny comes flooding back, pointing at myself. Thing is, it also feels really good, and so I feel guilty, like I'm doing something I shouldn't. In other words, embarrassing.
Going slowly and getting used to things gradually helps. Also other people's lack of reaction: I went out today in a skirt and make-up; nobody gave me a second look, let alone commented. So I can tell myself: see, nobody cares. It isn't that bad. (Of course, there are also transphobic assholes out there, so be careful)
^*^ I should clarify this: I don't mean that only women can present like that. Gender non-conforming people are a thing. Clothes are not inherently gendered. But in everyday life (rather than, say, LGBT-centric spaces), I'm going to assume, until corrected,