this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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Email with own domain service but local? (self.selfhosted)
submitted 5 days ago by werefreeatlast to c/selfhosted
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I have to ask this. Is there a service where I could bring my own FQN like Notgoogle.com and then have them handle emails for me? But with a twist.. I want notgoogle.com to send and receive emails via that outside entity, but I want to send the emails from a self hosted server that maybe has mailcow or similar and I want that same server to receive the emails from the outside company. Ideally the outside company is basically just a relay from my IP to the outside world and vise versa. The outside company would basically hold the emails until my server checked and downloaded them. any advice on this. Hopefully with a useful step by step guide from somewhere in the webs?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

i guess step by step was asked for on purpose, but i also don't know on what level ;-)

@[email protected] :

i'ld suggest as step by step to start small and increase to what you want:

  1. register a new account for testing on a freemail service like gmail.com gmx.net , hotmail.com or another. as its just the first step, it does not matter if its google or not, but that you can send and receive emails through it via common protocols like smtp and pop3 and that it is 'not' your account you handle important mails with as data losses could occur during experimenting.
  2. make sure your freemailer account is configured to use smtp and pop3 for sending/receiving email by a mailclient rather than only through their webpage. some freemailers also need you to have a different password for using the mail client than for logging into their portal (which is good). validate with your mailclient that sending/receiving works with those credentials, and note protocols, port numbers, login mechs maybe discovered by your mailclient.
  3. setup your mailserver (mailcow if you like) and connect it to your freemailers account maybe first for sending via smtp (send one to your real mail account) then for receiving maybe via pop3, testing it by sending a mail from your real mail account to the freemailer one.
  4. search for a cheap (you are still experimenting, right?) email service where you can use your own domain with, set it up, they likely also have faqs how to do the dns of your domain right to use their MX server. according to https://www.techradar.com/news/best-email-provider NeoMail (https://neo.space/) seems a good choice. i'ld suggest that you get a separate domain for experimenting from a different company (i use name.com) so you are then more aware of how everything works together and also can change parts of it more easily later if needs change. domains are usually cheap like some bucks per year and domain services usually also provide simple ways to define some records like in this case the MX and spf records you need/want for emails to be send to that email service.
  5. once you have setup dns records and your mail providers account for sending/receiving mails to/from, try to connect your holy email cow to it and experiment with it. also sending from/to your real mail account, and let it run for a while, look into topics like dmarc and dkim, use spf, dmarc and spf online check tools to see if that setup works as you like. based on your experience you might have ideas then how to go on with it.

spf,dkim and dmarc are good to prevent malicious parties from sending emails in your name to third parties. a mail server works good without that but it is a good practice and might prevent your domain (not your ip) from beeing blacklisted because of spam that you haven't sent but seems to originate from your domain and cannot be distinguished from your genuine emails only due to the lack of missing spf, dkim and dmarc records. spf and dmarc are dns only settings while dkim are crypto keys you create for signing outgoing emails and the public parts of them are published as dns records again so everyone can check that the signature really comes from your domain. i dont know if or how mailcow supports dkim, but it should be at least possible ;-)