this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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I feel like I ask bar guy how his day is quite often but I don't really get the same back. If I start talking about something, he will try to listen though.
Is it worth even bringing up that he doesn't ask?
I have the same with my guy & I tested the water by just saying what I wanted to talk about as I figured I could more easily just say my peace rather than asking him to change. It has pretty much self-resolved as he listens and then engages and asks clarifying questions.
It’s kinda been nice to realise it’s okay to talk about myself without prompting. I can see it really assisting with open communication between us.
Hope you work something out that suits you too. 🖤
This is great advice, I've noticed with some people they don't think to ask, but there's nothing wrong with offering the information yourself. And as someone with adhd, try not to overthink it.
RSD go brrrr
This is great, thank you :) I reckon that's how we will do it.
Hope it works out!
If not, talking through your perspective & feelings is a great start to showing them why it holds importance to you.
If It's worrying you enough to ask that here, it is definitely worth bringing up.
Before bringing anything up have a think about exactly what it is that is worrying you. Is it just that specific question of "how is your day" or are you feeling that he is not showing interest in what you are doing in your life in general? Also think a bit about how your communication is going in general and whether the issue is about him not asking, or maybe a mismatch in communication style - for example if you tend to lead with a lot of questions straight away but he tends to have more space in a conversation before he initiates things, then the answer would be not just for him to ask more, but for you to also allow a bit more space for him to do so.
With a clearer idea of what the issue is it makes it easier to raise it in a problem-solving rather than accusatory manner. So using my previous example, instead of saying "why don't you ever ask how my day is going" you can ask something like "I feel like I ask about your day more than you ask me. Do I need to give you more space to ask things, or is there something else?". That is much less likely to get a defensive reaction, and more likely to lead to a productive discussion that can help improve things.
Thank you :)
Are you like, partners? Dating? If so, go for it. If not, I wouldnt mention it. Not until the relationships better defined.