this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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I was perplexed by the question. What's the difference? They explained: "Should I tiptoe and watch my manners around you or be blunt? Flirtatious or chill? Brag about my sexual conquests or talk about our feelings? When you're sad, do I hug you and buy you ice cream or do we go grab some beers? Should I wonder if we'll ever hook up?"

I'm not sure if I'm more appalled or confused by this mindset. I thought everyone treated their friends the same regardless of their gender identity. Is this just a fringe case of toxic masculinity, or is this really how the average cis person sees the world?

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[–] grue 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I interpreted it entirely the opposite. I wonder which of us is closer to average?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] grue 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

I know, right!? 😬 😬 😬

[–] alaphic 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm with you on this one, and actually am a bit 'unsettled' myself over the extent of OP's melodramatic pearl clutching, tbh... All these 'anti-woke' people can go fuck themselves with a rake, dont get me wrong, but (unpopular opinion ahead, maybe) by that same token I certainly feel that there are more than a few people out there who go more than out of their way to look for something they can claim to be offended by... Which -spoiler alert! - isn't helping anything! 🙃 The far right people are already so insecure they apparently are afraid the government is gonna just show up and steal their dicks or something for... reasons(?) as it is, they clearly don't have the bandwidth to master pronoun usage at the same time and are lashing out from percieved inadequacy.

This comment spiraled out of control a bit, I'll admit, but in my defense I got waaaay higher than I had anticipated over the course of its composition. No raegerts

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I didn't get the impression OP was necessarily offended, but they certainly thought about gender differently than their friend, and in the end the friend sounds like a misogynistic scumbag. You're forgetting that OP has a lot of other information they didn't or can't provide to us, like body language, tone, etc. - so if OP is unsettled it might be for reasons we can't see.

Not to say that there isn't sometimes a thing that happens where people get overly sensitive or upset by something that isn't a problem, but I don't think that's happening here.

[–] alaphic 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Just to clarify, I meant the person that the person I replied to was replying to when I said OP, not like the OP of the thread.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

sorry, I legit can't make sense of this - the only "original poster" I can discern is the OP of this thread, Kit. Were you talking about them, or someone else?

[–] alaphic 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Floofloof? The person grue replied to

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

ohhh, thank you - I think I get what you're saying now :-)

[–] alaphic 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sorry I couldn't figure out how to make that clearer to begin with

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

no worries at all, you made it clear later and that's all that was needed (for me) 😁