What about when you grow up being told you're good, but your brain so overemphasizes negative experiences that it convinces itself that you're bad despite everyone in your life trying to say otherwise?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

That negativity bias is real! We can learn to counteract that bias, a good book on the subject is Rick Hanson’s Hardwiring Happiness.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Real experience is more important than words. If you constantly feel bad because of real experiences, chances are high that you are actually bad. Having negative experiences is not a guarantee that you're bad, but if you consistently have more than others, it might likely be a sign of being bad. Overemphasizing is also something bad.

The communication shouldn't be that "you're actually well", because it's simply not true. If you overemphasize negative experiences, you have a problem, you aren't well. The communication should instead be that it's ok to have that problem, there are ways to solve this problem, and it's possible to become good (again). Because that's also true and doesn't depend on deluding yourself.