If Microsoft controlled Android, Your phone would be using 60% of your bandwidth to constantly send screenshots of your screen to Microsoft with a 'feature' called something like Personal Protector which would have been rolled out in a mandatory update with the only way to disable it being to type in obscure search terms, navigate thru 6 submenus, and withstand layers and layers of coercion telling you you are harming yourself if you disable it. If you do reach the disable option, it is only available on Android Professional Edition and, if you do have Android Professional and touch disable, every 5 minutes afterward there is a notification sound that plays over anything you could be doing, tabs you out, and a popup covers 1/4 of your screen warning you you are unprotected and to reenable Personal Protector. Also it doesn't actually protect you. It just sends your information to Microsoft.
Microelf? Is that what's living inside my phone and making it work? Neat!