this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2024
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That last line is the trick. We’ve been conditioned so hard since we were little kids about our jobs being who we are. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
This is something I became cognizant of pretty young. Late in high school I would answer that question snidely with a “happy”—it weirdly always pissed people off. But even so, I still struggled well into my late 20s with not letting that “Im wasting my life with this job” feeing creep in. I even traveled most of my 20s and was the last panel sometimes. Feeling like just spending the money I’d saved and lying on a beach every day and partying all night and country hopping was something I should be ashamed of.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to have found a job I find interesting and fulfilling, but differentiating between finding something that challenges and engages me and defining myself by my title took a long, long time. At this point, the majority of my life. We’ve been thoroughly conditioned to not differentiate. Learning to is a revolutionary act. Fuck your capitalist value. Fuck capitalism.
I'm 41 years old. I didn't know the answer when I was 5. I don't know the answer now.
I did have the answer when I was 5. I knew in my early 20s. Now I'm a year and change older than you and now I have no idea. It's a lot more fun this way!