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What’s the worst Harry Potter theory you’ve ever heard? (i.imgur.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Oh boy, where to begin? There's a bunch that range from implausible, to unsettling, to simply absurd:

Crookshanks used to live with the Potters
Hagrid is a Death Eater
Voldemort's rudimentary body was Bertha Jorkins' unborn child
Draco actually loved Hermione
McGonagall had an affair with Crookshanks
Harry hallucinated the events of all seven books
Wizards used to sh*t on the floor and vanish the evidence
Snape was Harry's real father the whole time
Mrs Norris is a maledictus and Filch's wife
Voldemort secretly had a daughter

[–] Chiarottide 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure the shitting on the floor theory is actually a quote from the fourth book, also they don't wear underwear when wearing tunics and robes

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is not from a book, but I think Rowling made the statement herself on pottermore or its Twitter account. In my opinion it doesn't make any sense though as firstly the vanishing spell is too complex for pupils under grade ~4 and secondly why would there be all the pipes in Hogwarts then? Did Salazar Slytherin secretly plumb through the whole castle for his little snakey to murder sneakily and nobody noticed?

[–] Chiarottide 2 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, it didn't make a lot of sense. The no underwear thing comes from a quote from the fourth book of an old wizard "liking a healthy breeze round his privates" when offered a pair of pants. I guess it's up to interpretation how much breeze he considers healthy

[–] SwordInStone 4 points 1 month ago

no and no

[–] jacksilver 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Voldemort secretly having a daughter isnt just a fan theory, "Delphi" is a character in "The Cursed Child" and plays a pivotal role in the plot - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Cursed_Child. Since JK Rowling was involved in the play, she considers it cannon (however terrible a play and decision that may be).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

Haha, good catch. I concede that its not a bad theory in that case, it's... just bad. Same with wizards sh*tting on the floor, actually.