Curated Tumblr

4118 readers

3 users here now

For preserving the least toxic and most culturally relevant Tumblr heritage posts.

The best transcribed post each week will be pinned and receive a random bitmap of a trophy superimposed with the author's username and a personalized message. Here are some OCR tools to assist you in your endeavors.

-web

-iOS

-android

Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

353

Take that, atheists (files.catbox.moe)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago

Well, if a pitcher pitches a baby, the baby is likely dead regardless if it's going to make it all the way to the batter. Whether the impact with your bat or the catcher's mitt is what ultimately causes the baby to die seems to me to be an unimportant detail.

That said, since the baby is entirely unaerodynamic, it's going to move a lot more slowly than a regular baseball, meaning there's a chance you could save the baby by bunting (especially if you avoid the head), and if you assume the catcher has an ounce of humanity, they'll probably be more concerned with checking on the baby rather than tagging the runner coming from third or throwing you out at first base.

So here are the options as I see it:

bunt
hit it hard - nobody is going to catch a mangled baby
refuse and take the L - irrational since the baby is a goner regardless

I'd go with 1, it's the most humane, and probably no less likely to succeed vs 2.