ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

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Compulsion to help others (self.adhd)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by 108 to c/adhd

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Does anyone else feel the need to help others? I feel almost compelled to help or chip in with any 2 cents that may help someone with something they asked even if I dont know anything about what they are talking about.

Edit: spelling and rephrase.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah, my father was a policeman, and I'm a Jesus-follower to boot, added to the top of all these other similar patterns in this thread. I was taught to be aware at all times, to take care of people in need. To keep people out of bad situations. To give and give as long as there's anything left of me to...

I dubbed it a "hero complex". It's not about my glory or anything, just the opposite, I look out for my "squad" whomever they may be, friends or work people, whatever. I don't leave people behind and I'm a sucker for a sob story...

No, no it's not that exciting. I just happen to know a little about a lot and I hate seeing people hurting. I hate seeing things go wrong. I can't stand when things are broken and thrown away when they just need a simple fix.

Like others here, I'm cursed with a combination of intense empathy, keen observation, and the compulsive need to give guidance and share knowledge, solicited or not! Lol

But anyway, I got a job helping the public with computers. I'm pretty good at them and I'm good at explaining things. Perfect right?

That job ruined me. I got so taken advantage of, and walked over, and stalked, and used...I'm still dealing with the fallout.

I get pulled into situations all the time where people's problems become my problem, I'm running to the rescue, I'm staying late, I'm bending the rules just this once, I'm taking care of the details, I'm fixing things, I'm listening, I'm teaching.

And I end up becoming a captive savior because I'm the one who shows up. I'm the one trying to hold things together.

So many of my therapy visits were about "Setting healthy boundaries" and "You don't need to be solving everyone's problems all the time so they'll like you."

...But this world is bad enough and selfish as it is, I just want to help...