It's been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.
What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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I like the idea of dating apps, but I don't like the implementation or at least how they end up being used where the focus is entirely on visual attraction. I don't particularly think or care about looks; I'm attracted to personality. Most people have blank profiles and just a lot of pictures, so I either have to decide to not like a majority of profiles or like everything just to maybe get a chance to talk to someone.
And it doesn't help having BPD and not really having a solid identity to tell people who I am in a single block of limited characters. So when nobody even communicates when you actually match, it just makes the whole thing seem pointless and stupid.
I met my wife through eHarmony. I tried the other apps available at the time (mid 2000s) and most were "profile pic & swipe" level of depth. eHarmony had a fee (so both parties were at least a little more committed to finding a partner, rather than "sign up for free account while drinking one night"). Also it had maybe 100(?) questions you had to fill out before it'd give you any matches... basically a quasi personality profile about what you were like and what you were looking for in a relationship. The result was fewer matches, but all the dates I went on were meaningful (eventually leading to ~15 years of marriage & 2 kids).
There's now additional dating sites beyond just eHarmony that have this barrier to entry which seems similar (although I don't have personal experience with those).
I have not online dated. Are the people with blank profiles interesting people at all? Or are they just there for a hookup?
Kinda depends on their gender, in my experience. Guys without a profile and pics of just themselves not really doing much are usually just looking for a hookup. The girls without a profile are usually what is generally accepted as highly attractive and probably don't even care because everyone will like them.
I have yet to actually have someone talk to me on any of these apps beyond saying hello or asking how my day is. I had better luck actually finding people to talk to, get to know, then set up a date through Craigslist back when it had a personals section.