Programmer Humor

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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Having been in this situation (the only binary I could use was bash, although cd was a bash builtin for me), echo * is your friend. Even better is something like this:

get_path_type() {
    local item
    item="$1"
    [[ -z "$item" ]] && { echo 'wrong arg count passed to get_path_type'; return 1; }
    if [[ -d "$item" ]]; then
        echo 'dir'
    elif [[ -f "$item" ]]; then
        echo 'file'
    elif [[ -h "$item" ]]; then
        echo 'link'  # not accurate, but symlink is too long
    else
        echo '????'
    fi
}

print_path_listing() {
    local path path_type
    path="$1"
    [[ -z "$path" ]] && { echo 'wrong arg count passed to print_path_listing'; return 1; }
    path_type="$(get_path_type "$path")"
    printf '%s\t%s\n' "$path_type" "$path"
}

ls() {
    local path paths item symlink_regex
    paths=("$@")
    if ((${#paths[@]} == 0)); then
        paths=("$(pwd)")
    fi
    shopt -s dotglob
    for path in "${paths[@]}"; do
        if [[ -d "$path" ]]; then
            printf '%s\n' "$path"
            for item in "$path"/*; do
                print_path_listing "$item"
            done
        elif [[ -e "$path" ]]; then
            print_path_listing "$path"
        printf '\n'
        fi
    done
}

This is recreated from memory and will likely have several nasty bugs. I also wrote it and quickly tested it entirely on my phone which was a bit painful. It should be pure bash, so it'll work in this type of situation.

EDIT: I'm bored and sleep deprived and wanted to do something, hence this nonsense. I've taken the joke entirely too seriously.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

was a bit painful

Well that's an understatement

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My pain tolerance for shitty input methods has been permanently warped after experiencing psychic damage from using Teamviewer to connect to a system over a very flaky HughesNet satellite link. I was working for a vendor that supplied a hardware networking box to a stupid retail company that sells food and shit. I just wanted to ssh to our boxen on a specific network so I could troubleshoot something, but the only way I could get to it was via putty installed on an ancient Windows XP desktop on the same network as our box that could only be accessed with Teamviewer. My favorite part of that was that the locale or something was fucked up, so my qwerty keyboard inputs were, like, fucking transformed into azerty somehow?? The Windows desktop was locked down and monitored to a tremendous degree, so I couldn't change anything. The resolution was terrible, the latency was over a second, and half of my keyboard inputs turned into gibberish on the other side.

Oh, and I was onsite at that same company's HQ doing a sales engineering call while I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I spent 5 days sitting in spare offices with shitty chairs, away from my family, living that fucking nightmare before I finally figured out what was wrong. God damn, what a fucking mess that was. For anyone reading this, NEVER WORK FOR GROCERY/DRUG STORE IT. They are worse than fucking banks in some ways. Fuck.

EDIT: also, I asked 'why Teamviewer' and the answer was always shrugs. This was before the big TeamViewer security incidents, so maybe they thought it was more secure? Like, at least they didn't expose RDP on the internet...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Yeah, suddenly coding on a phone doesn't seem so bad

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

HughesNet

the latency was over a second

It's going to space!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

It very definitely was 😅 The way that company used the satellite network was cool, don't get me wrong. They would use it to push content out to all their stores with multicast which was really efficient with bandwidth. I loved it for that, but I hated interacting with it over unicast in any way, shape, or form. Horses for courses, as they say.

[–] bi_tux 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wanted to try it on my phone to, since I'm bored sitting on my train to work, but appearently you can't copy text out of jeroba and now I don't care enough to open it in my webbrowser

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Also if you tap on the 'kebab' menu and press View Source, you can copy the message.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

FWIW - starting a reply allows you to copy the original text.

[–] bi_tux 2 points 1 month ago

TIL