this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I, personally, grew up with a giant lack of self-confidence. After I turned 25, along with quarantine to truly understand myself, I feel I have gained more confidence/self-worth.

My field is technology, but most of all my friends are not "engineers" and I have felt I have been missing out on some key bonds that are preventing me from sharing my knowledge to grow with them in a mutually beneficial way. I felt most of my friends were of the business kind that "always had an idea" and had a pocket engineer to talk to.

But, recently the past 2 years I have been more "mature" saying no to things or starting to give low-level, instead of high-level, overviews about certain topics. I felt it was in-fact hurting my career, to not talk in-depth so I began to join discords and build up my social vernacular observing/conversing with engineers online. But, whenever an in-real life discussion would start with a topic that I had researched, I would always make sure to "correct it" in case fake observations are brought up and/or decisions were made based on them.

Lately, though I have felt I have lost bonds with almost all of my in real life friends. And I can't tell if, I am the *sshole, or if I have just "grown?". I have felt that I was always aware of how I shared my "side of the story" and/or reasoning behind my decisions respectfully. But, I just can't get it out of my head that I am in the wrong in some way.

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[–] Labotomized 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah sounds like your current “friends” just don’t get how mentally exhausting some things can be for you.

I have some coworkers that commiserate and talk about technical work junk and usually that is enough to get it out of my system & with actual friends we usually don’t talk about work and just shoot the shit and relax and enjoy NOT being at work together.

Good luck getting your stuff figured out my friend!

[–] pexavc 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah this entire thread made me realize, I am literally getting it out of my system and not having that outlet. The stuff leaks into friendships and being unable to "shoot the shit".