this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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[–] UnderpantsWeevil 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

In less than ten years, I saw three of my cousins transition. This seemed to correspond neatly with trans-rights being mainstreamed as a social issue. Almost as though there are a lot of trans-people, many of whom were simply in the closet until the moment it became socially acceptable to be themselves.

[–] FinishingDutch 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There absolutely are a lot of them; it’s great that they finally feel comfortable to be themselves.

We saw the same thing with gay people. I’m an 80’s kid. When I was young, gay was something you saw on TV and in the movies. There ‘were no gay kids’ at the schools I attended. Because that was simply not something that you could admit to being.

Earlier this year I met a teen girl at work who casually mentioned her girlfriend. I was delighted that kids these days are comfortable enough in their own skin to just say that to someone they just met. That was not a thing when I was her age. It’s nice to see how far we’ve come.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Something cool I've been seeing lately too is my cis/het friends also finding value in engaging with the queer community. Despite not having any revelations about their own identities, they still get to free themselves from all sorts of vague social rules and gain a lot of vocabulary to describe their own experiences.

My gruff male vocalist friend gets to be as campy as he likes on stage and has a wider range of presentation he can choose from, without his gender being called into question. My old boss with the rare kind of offensive humor that actually works in the workplace gets to include trans people in the banter, in a way that he very clearly gets from and admires in his nonbinary kid. A good cis friend of mine used the word "dysphoria" to describe something he was feeling and we were able to have a really deep and supportive conversation about it once I realized how similarly it affected us, despite him being very comfortably cis.

Queer liberation is good for everyone and I'm so happy to see more and more people who get this.

[–] FinishingDutch 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That’s definitely been a thing for me personally.

I’m as boring vanilla straight as you can get. But I’ve worked with a fair few colleagues over the years who were gay, as well as the odd lesbian. They were always great to talk with; very liberating so to speak.

They didn’t tend to have the same hangups or reservations that most cis/het people tend to have. I definitely noticed that I was more relaxed around them. It also tended to open up new ways of thinking and different, interesting perspectives.

Our company tends to be quite welcoming; we also have a fair few colleagues with autism for example. I always like meeting people with interesting and unique personalities.

It might sound weird, but that’s also why I’m hoping to get a trans/NB coworker eventually. Trans people tend to be relatively rare where I am, and it sounds fascinating to talk to them about their perspective on certain topics. I bet that would lead to some interesting insights. It’s a shame not everyone is open to that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Doesn't sound weird at all! It's a commendable thing to want diverse perspectives around you and to be aware of the gaps that exist in your community.

I would say that a lot of trans people are open to polite questions, but it can be emotionally difficult to bear the load of educating people while also experiencing the stigma and abandonment that can come with the experience, especially right when coming out. Even good faith questions can feel like being asked the bad faith ones if there's fresh pain there. A boundary that's worked for me personally is to say ask me anything, but it has to be OK if I don't want to answer it, or if I answer it in gory detail.

Tbh I enjoy talking about this stuff so if you have any specific curiosities feel free to ask! But otherwise I do hope you find some folks to connect with in your environment - and even if they're hiding, putting out the right energy will make them come to you 😁

[–] captainlezbian 2 points 3 months ago

I transitioned in 2015. Some would say at 20 I was too young, but here I am a decade later saying it was the best decision of my life, it helped me turn my life around, get my shit together, and find happiness I wouldn’t’ve otherwise known. This is notable in part for being the opposite position I hear from those who enlisted at that age, something nobody is arguing 18 year olds shouldn’t be allowed to do.