hopeposting

594 readers

1 users here now

Proof of the indomitable human spirit.

Rules:

Posts must inspire hope or highlight the beauty of existence
Posts and comments harassing or antagonizing a real person will be removed
Posts mentioning religious topics are allowed but religion should not be the main point of the post. E.g. “God’s beautiful world” is fine because of the “beautiful world” part, but “God loves you” isn’t because religion is the focal point
Posts and comments judging group of people in negative way based on stereotype will be removed.
No posts with toxic positivity. All human emotions are valid.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

Love yourself (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by ultrahamster64 to c/hopeposting

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Source: https://mas.to/@skeletor/112689092595016884

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So I think I realized I hate myself but didn't realize it. I've been as outwardly focused as I could be for as long as I can remember. I love beeing a shoulder to cry on, to root on my friends as they improve their lives, and creating spaces where people come together to make music (I host weekly jams in Chicago).

But one thing I've noticed is I get really nervous when people start getting close to me. I've tried to have relationships, and pretty soon I just feel a pit of anxiety and things end pretty quick. Even friendships can make me feel nervous. I consider myself super extraverted, and I have no problem addressing large groups, but it's a very small club of people who I actually feel okay being me with.

Recently I realized I'm not in that club. I don't feel comfortable alone, and I thought that was just the extraversion, but I realized it's that I mostly ruminate on every shitty thing I've ever done and feel really bad. If I can't feel comfortable with myself, how can I feel comfortable showing that to anyone else?

My friend just got married, and he said the thing that he felt was the core of it was that he felt as comfortable being at home with his wife as he would being alone. That made me realize I'm not ready for a relationship right now.

[–] ultrahamster64 1 points 1 week ago

Yes, this is absolutely the truth - you need to be comfortable alone to be comfortable with others. I also think that, that is an acquired skill. Not everyone can do it right out of the gates - but through self reflection, analysis and self improvement you can acquire it.