this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
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Don't give them a phone until they are prepared to see everything the Internet has. Kids can be smart and will find ways around the blocks you put in place.
The thing I tell people is that as a parent, you are going to put maybe a few hours into blocking them from getting to stuff. They are then going to spend as much time as they want trying to get through it. You can dig through concrete with a spoon if you're patient enough.
Educate them, and give them access when they're responsible enough
That's the real problem, kids being able to spend unlimited time unsupervised because they have horrible absent parents. Parents shouldnt let their kids have unrestricted time like that. That is one reason why kids suffer in school not because of phones; because their parents aren't involved to guide them in making good choices and forcing good habits.
So we take away the phones as the luddites demand. What fills the gap? Definitely not independent learning. Most definitely not suddenly mindful and present parents.
There is a lot of fear mongering and blaming, but no actual effort to fix it. Banning or removing doesn't fix it. There is a reason that, when absent parents for latchkey kids were huge problems, they didn't simply decree gangs illegal and pat themselves on the back. Communities offered alternatives. But no alternative is being offered here. All the woes are shifted onto the unholy smartphone and internet.
Ya know why predators can find success online? Because shit parents don't parent. A better use of resources would be forcing the parents to sacrifice their phones contingent on spending time with their kids, right?
They are probably smart enough to find a phone if they want one...
Smartphones cost enough that a parent can control the finances and I don't believe kids can aquire a large enough fund by themselve without at least some assistance by the parents.
And if, usually as a gift and that is probably taken in by a parent anyway
You can buy an Android Tracphone on Amazon for $25: https://a.co/d/5Xb3DqX
You can buy an unlocked Android phone for $44: https://a.co/d/0hTu3Me
And buying that requires knowledge of amazon, knowledge of what phone is useful, knowledge to avoid a scam or faulty product, an email address, a credit card, and a device to order from.
Children are surprisingly clever and have all the time in the world, but they aren't professional pen-testers and don't have the experience needed to use online services before having access to them.
It's far more likely they get a hand-me-down device from a friend and keep it at school, especially if they know such a thing would be confiscated immediately upon discovery. Preventing this interaction would require control over the child's life nearing Amish levels, or prison levels.
They sell these at Walmart, too. It really only requires a chance sighting of it and a couple weeks allowance for a young teen or kid to end up with one of these cheap smartphones.
See that's more realistic. Sneaking off to walmart is still a bit of a stretch in sprawl-hell, but I can see how a cheap locally available phone might make it's way into anyone's hands, especially as a hand-me-down.
On Amazon you either need to buy gift cards or have a working bank account/credit card.
If your kid works around those road blocks you have more serious problems...
And btw: Are they really usable?
They sell these same cheap phones at the store, and yeah, they work fine. I assume you live way out in the suburbs somewhere where it is unheard of that a young teen might end up at a store with dozens of dollars in their pocket, but I'm being realistic. You have to be vigilant about what your kids are up to.
In many ways, I am more comfortable with my kid going to the store on their own than I am of them using TikTok, given what I know about TikTok.
If you call the outer rim of the main city "way out in the suburbs"... Sure
https://maps.app.goo.gl/vPoEP3hS1yGNsfSH9
Phone maybe, but not a SIM card with data. Although you can do a lot without a SIM card if your school has public WiFi I guess