this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2023
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Before my grandpa passed, he was in hospice care (found out later that it's actually the same one my partner's mum works at, but she wasn't his nurse) and he I think suffered dementia because of the jaw cancer. And like man, that shit hurts. And you know they're not forgetting you intentionally.

Like I remember my final goodbye and I could see him trying to connect the dots on who I am. Ugh.

I'll have to join you the good cry (luckily there's no one else here in the lunch room), it never gets easier.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Nana, thankfully, still remembers who I am. There’s only been one instance where she didn’t know me, and it was because I showed up at her house with my sister and niece who she hadn’t seen for 5+ years and two unfamiliar faces threw her. I can’t take Mr Omoikiri with me to see her either because he came onto the scene too late for him to be in her long-term memory and she gets a bit uncomfortable around ‘strange’ men. She also comes out with some old lady racist stuff sometimes that she may have thought in the past, but had the filter to know to not say it. and while he just laughs it off, it’s best for everyone if he stays away. I’m certain the day will come when she doesn’t know me though.

I’m sorry for your loss too. It just sucks so much

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Oof yeah, it's uhhh... it's tough being around old people and they just feel so embolden to say whatever is on their mind. I'm surprised my nana is taking my cousin's transition well. Of course, I guess it's easier to understand his transition because it's a binary transition, whereas I and my partner are both nonbinary... oh well.

Yeah it does suck. But, your Nana is getting the best care and she knows she's loved and that's really all you can ask for.