this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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You live your life in a way that makes other people want to be a part of it. Then eventually you find someone you want in your life. Next you decide to journey together long-term and help each other with each other's problems.
Somewhere along the way you get the government involved—this is the part I don't really understand but whatever.
"You live your life in a way that makes other people want to be a part of it."
That is really well put, and exactly what happened for me. I met my wife in circumstances that it would be impossible to ask anyone to replicate (to quote Dylan, "I helped her out of a jam, I guess"), but the important thing was that at the time we met we'd both done enough work on ourselves to be someone that it was easy for the other to fall in love with.
That really is the best dating advice; work on yourself. Obviously, on a practical level, put yourself out there; use dating apps, go to speed dating, find social venues that align with your hobbies and interests, and so on. But most of all, put the work into yourself. Therapy will do more for your romantic life than any makeover or platitudes about being confident.
Hopefully you didn't use too much force
Well, the goal was "help out a stranger in need" and I landed at "happily married", so I definitely overshot the mark on that one 😅
You don't need the government involved, or the church. Just if you want their goodies, like a church as venue, or tax breaks. You can have a pagan wedding in the middle of the forest if you want.
...and easy, unchallenged legal transfer of assets when they die without having to prove anything to anybody.
You wouldn't believe how much harder it is for unmarried people when their partner dies. It definitely depends on your legal jurisdiction, but stuff like "We shared everything for decades" holds no water. If it isn't bought solely in your name, there's no particular reason why you would inherit it wholesale, and you may need to sell your joint home of thirty years to pay your debt to your partner's nephews and neices or something if you don't have a cast iron will and good lawyers.
To get legal rights, you need the relationship to have legal status.