Political Weirdos

That is not how you deal with angry customers. FFS, I'm getting mad thinking about some simpy little ass-kisser coming at me all sweetness and light.

That tells me several things:

• You aren't listening to me.
• You don't give a fuck about my problem.
• You're not going to do anything about my problem.
• You have no empathy and I'm just a number to you, not a real human being.
• Now I want to talk to your superior. And I'll do about anything to avoid that bull shit.

Acting like this is how customer-facing people get their ass chewed. Hell, I all but get mad right along with the customer!

"Wait a minute, stop. Are you telling me (repeat the highlights of their getting screwed story)?!"

That's a powerful way to get on the same side, and if you're good, your are on the customer's side. Also, see how I asserted control over the conversation instead of letting them build steam? Your method is an industrial strength, demon powered, steam boiler.

But what if the complaint is somewhat irrational?

"Yeah, I get it, same crap happened to me (when.. offer a true one-liner story of a similar woe you experienced). Look, that's just how it is when (offer a true explanation for the issue, understaffed or whatever, but keep it low-key or you're giving them more bitching ammo)."

If I got a feel for the person, I may even borderline cuss under my breath. "... oh for ... sake... Did they really tell you that?!" I may actually cuss if it's that kinda conversation. This let's them know you care, you're engaged with their story.

I could go on forever, and I have the experience and background to back it up, but here's the only thing you need to know to win with customers. Are you ready?

Treat them like an acquaintance, maybe a friend of a friend who came to you for help. Because they came to you for help and it's your job to provide that help. If you can't treat your customer like a real human being, get out of the business.

"And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."

"It's a lot more complicated than that--"

"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."

"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--"

"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."

--from Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett.

I'm pissing in the wind here. If y'all won't take instruction and insist on being bullied, go on with your bad self. Personally, I had my ass beat quite enough in grade school, so I learned some social skills.

https://theoatmeal.com/pl/senior_year/pe