this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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ADHD

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/adhd
 

I either have an exciting plan,
or when that fails, no plan (I resign).
Since the exciting plans usually fail, I end up living on autopilot.

I really struggle making things in life move. There's too many simultaneous Big Tasks* whose logistics I need to keep track of that I can’t hold them all in my head at once (I can only focus on one Big Task at once). Especially when most tasks are timelines where you need to wait for responses, compose emails, search for things (there might be none – what then?) etc. and where you need to think about the order of the tasks in the timeline so that you save time. Not to forget remembering to notice if people haven’t replied to your e-mail and having to either remind them or come up with a Plan B (this usually leaves you stumped because you now can't get the thing you started the whole journey for). There's so many steps to keep track of and you can't even write them down because the amount of steps keeps changing.

*Finding the next place to rent, booking a dentist for my hurting tooth, planning journeys (what is the Plan B if the journey is too expensive?)

The cluelessness and dread of having to come up with a Plan B is why I hate searching for things. Having to come up with a Plan B is so disorienting. And it's the opposite of stimulating: you've put in a ton of effort and gotten nowhere. How do you all deal with it?

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[–] Rhynoplaz 2 points 4 months ago

Well, it's really easy to say "Just change the way you think!", which would probably fix everything, but in reality, we all know it's not that simple. I may be good at going with the flow, but I have a whole mess of other issues that I wish I could just "change the way I think".

Maybe try thinking of examples from your life when things didn't go exactly to plan, but everything still worked out in the end, or maybe even turned out better than planned.

Surprises happen. Some are good. Some are bad. Some you can directly influence, others are out of your control.

If you can't make the best situation, make the best of the situation!