IMO there's a balance of support and sending them out of the nest. My parents did not find that balance and threw me out completely unprepared. It made me homeless for a couple of years

It did teach self-reliance and that I don't need my family in my life to get by. My wife's family is cool as hell though and love them to death

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (3 children)

There’s also a balance in asking for rent off your child and making it so they basically have no money for themselves.

My mam likes us all being in the house and we all pay rent to her, but it’s also a payment that is far, far lower than it would be for us all to go out and live on our own.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Oh yeah my parents would take all of my money. At 16 they handed me a brand new car that I A) didnt ask for B) was expected to make the payments , but couldn't afford the payments on a part-time McDonald's employees wages. I also had to pay the insurance, and rent, and buy my own groceries. I ended up getting pushed by my parents to work full time at Mcdonald's, part time at a pizza hut, part time at a grocery store, and keep up with my high-school classes. They then started blaming me for their money troubles because they were taking 100% of my money and to them, that wasn't enough. I couldn't even afford school lunches and went many days without eating anything. Only time I would get to eat is if I stole something from one of my jobs.

At 18 they convinced me to move 700 miles away from home promising they would help with college. That was a lie, so I started working full time for a construction company and full time for a movie theater. I got laid off from the construction, which was my biggest cash flow, so instead of stepping up for their kid, they sent me out the door, took my car, stole the last $300 to my name and told me best of luck.

I don't have much to do with them, and they also try to guilt trip me into moving closer to them or talking to them more. I just tell them "I am how you made me", and thar usually shuts them up

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

It's fair to be expected to contribute to the family/house if you're an adult and have the means. I stayed with my parents through a lot of covid and helped woth the cooking and groceries. The key thing was it wasn't an ultimatum, it wasn't a hardship on me, and if I hadn't been able to, they wouldn't have minded.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago

That's a surprisingly controversial take in this thread, unfortunately.

I don't know what I expected from a platform like Lemmy though.