It’s time for the Police Federation of England and Wales to apply lavender oil to all available pulse points, because the new ITV comedy Piglets is here. When the title of the sitcom about six recruits to the fictional Norbourne training college was announced, the Federation’s condemnation was swift and lengthy. One can only assume that every investigation had been closed and the last criminal in the country locked up that morning and our boys in blue have been looking for a new project ever since. It was, the federation said, “A disgusting choice of language to use for the title of a TV programme,” and “highly offensive to police officers risking their lives to protect the public every day, providing an emergency service”. And “inflammatory against a landscape of rising threats and violence against officers”. And “incredibly dangerous to incite more negativity and misinformation against a public sector service that’s already under so much pressure”.
Now that they have had a chance to view the programme, perhaps the federation can put the toys back in the pram and note that, by some whim of the comedy gods, there is virtually nothing – given the wealth of material offered almost daily in recent years of endemic police corruption, failures and general inadequacies – in it to distress its members. Beyond that wounding title, of course.
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Piglets was created in large part by the team behind Smack the Pony and Green Wing, and you can see the idiosyncratic ghosts of both shows in the attempts at surreality and absolute silliness. But here they don’t quite come off, and instead just make you feel embarrassed and sad.
This is the best summary I could come up with:
It was, the federation said, “A disgusting choice of language to use for the title of a TV programme,” and “highly offensive to police officers risking their lives to protect the public every day, providing an emergency service”.
Now that they have had a chance to view the programme, perhaps the federation can put the toys back in the pram and note that, by some whim of the comedy gods, there is virtually nothing – given the wealth of material offered almost daily in recent years of endemic police corruption, failures and general inadequacies – in it to distress its members.
Then there is Leggo (Sam Pote), who is an unwilling follower in his senior officer parents’ footsteps, and Paul (Jamie Bisping), the dim scion of a local crime family.
Each episode comprises a weak storyline with a couple of good lines (Spry’s unexpected “Bob, do you need a poo?” as they finish a team pep talk, or her curt dismissal of Gunn from her office – “Off you go, Magic Mike, don’t trip over your cock”).
In the opening episode, Spry and Weekes are informed that there is a spy hiding in the new intake who must be discovered (cut to Paul being picked up at the end of his first day by his villainous dad and driven away), while Steph attempts to sabotage any budding relationships for Mike.
In the third, the recruits are issued with their uniforms, Steph forces Mike to use her as his partner in demonstrating how to restrain a suspect and it is a bit like them having sex, Dev is revealed to be a (probable) virgin … and this viewer begins to feel tired.
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