So a bit about me, I'm a very practical-oriented, some might say cheap person. I look at excessive luxury as a moral failing at any wealth level, either because you should be giving that money to charity, or because you should be saving it so you don't end up needing charity yourself someday.
However, finding a woman with a compatible mindset has always been a challenge, and it seems to be getting harder every year. I've been dating mostly online for a good while, and prior to the pandemic I pretty much never ran into a woman with a lot of luxuries in her life. Now it seems like almost every profile features a woman showing off a LV/YSL/Gucci purse that cost 4 figures or more. These luxury brand purchases are the hardest thing for me to relate to, because it's just the brand - it's purely to signal that you could afford to send some corporation your hard-earned money for virtually no reason. And you don't have to take my word for it, luxury goods are booming, especially among gen Y and Z.
Problem is, I'm finding it harder and harder to cut this massive chunk of the population out of my dating pool. I'm also attracted to the look of feminine accessories like jewelry and heels (isn't everyone?). And while I don't care if it's cheap accessories, there seems to be basically a 100% overlap between women who wear feminine accessories and those who like spending lots of money on brand names. I kinda hit rock bottom recently when I went on a date with a low-wage worker which made me excited that maybe I finally found someone down to earth enough, and then even she showed up with a $1200 purse (yes I looked it up).
So it's time to pause and seek alternative perspectives. I want to keep looking for the cheap-yet-feminine woman. But at the same time, I feel increasingly like I'm being an extremist. Is there some way I can understand the need for luxury brand purchases differently so I can find it more acceptable in a long term partner?
Ok fine, I don't know if we do deltas here but if so you get one. I guess even if I'm judgey about expensive accessories, I should wait until I understand the context more before holding it against them. Ironically I'd have absolutely no problem with someone who bought a fake expensive brand name bag, and that's always a possibility...
Thank you. For the record, fiscal responsibility is a fine trait to look for in a long term partner, it just might look different depending on people's circumstances. Someone with an LVS bag might have been able to work a week of overtime to earn it, while a retail or service worker might be spending a significant portion of their disposable income on streaming services or something else you'd normally consider practical. It just seems arbitrary to single out high end hand bags but not, say, ordering door dash every day or credit card debt. If you said a lot of credit card debt was a red flag for you, I doubt anyone would consider that unreasonable. Good luck in your search for a partner!