this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2024

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things you can only do with boys (lemmy.ml)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/comicstrips

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Tbf child marriage is also traditional, Muhammed had a 9yo bride (it's "ok," he didn't have sex with her until she was 11.)

Defending things based solely on tradition can get pretty weird sometimes.

[+] FlyingSquid -6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's a tradition that ended a long time ago. I'm talking about traditions that are ongoing. Also traditions that, despite someone else's claim, probably don't cause any psychological harm, at least most of the time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think you may be surprised and hopefully disturbed by this UNICEF article.

Despite a steady decline in this harmful practice over the past decade, child marriage remains widespread, with approximately one in five girls married in childhood across the globe. Today, multiple crises – including conflict, climate shocks and the ongoing fallout from COVID-19 – are threatening to reverse progress towards eliminating this human rights violation. The United Nations Sustainable Development Goals call for global action to end child marriage by 2030.

So no, it was not "a long time ago." It's "hopefully by 2030."

Also traditions that, despite someone else's claim, probably don't cause any psychological harm, at least most of the time.

Oh, so as long as you don't believe the person and can therefore invalidate their feelings without guilt, and it only psychologically hurts "some" people who you I suppose arbitrarily believe over the ones you don't, it's fine?

Not sure I can agree with you on this one.

[+] FlyingSquid -8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Believe what person? Hurts some people?

I have asked for evidence that it hurts anyone and have not received it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Also traditions that, despite someone else's claim, probably don't cause any psychological harm, at least most of the time.

Actually you asked for nothing, you made a whole lot of assumptions instead. And

evidence that it hurts anyone

Here again you invalidate the feelings of those telling you with their own words that they don't like it. The evidence they don't like it is them telling you they don't like it, you don't need a scientific paper to corroborate that some people find it objectionable, you just dismiss them because you want to partake in the behavior they find objectionable.

[–] FlyingSquid -5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I absolutely asked for evidence. I just didn't ask you for evidence. Weird that you apparently read through my comments and didn't see that.

And not one person has told me that they were personally hurt by this happening to them. They have just said that it is wrong.

You show me the person in this thread who said it caused them pain. I can't invalidate feelings that people don't have. Someone not liking something has nothing to do with whether or not that thing causes trauma or any sort of psychological damage to anyone unless it caused them that damage.

And now I am asking you for evidence. Please quote the person that was hurt by their parents doing this.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ok, I was personally hurt by it happening to me. Now what's your excuse?

[–] FlyingSquid -5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I do not believe that any more than I believe you are any sort of expert in psychology or understand what is legal or not legal to have on a phone.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh ok so only if I have a peer reviewed case, not if it actually affected me, how'd I know that'd be your lame excuse.

I hope you show a kid those pics and they ask for copies for later, then it'll get weird for ya.

[–] FlyingSquid -5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Yes, if you can't provide evidence for something I have no reason to believe you. I'm not sure how that's a lame excuse. It's why I'm an atheist as well. But you do you.

I'm not sure why you think I would talk about me showing a child my daughter's baby photos since we were talking about me showing them to my adult child's partner. Do you think my daughter will be a pedophile when she's an adult and that I would support her in that or something?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't believe you don't believe him.

[–] FlyingSquid -3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Okay, well someone else claimed that they did have that trauma and I don't disbelieve them. I would have had a more substantive response to their post, but they decided to accuse me of child abuse.

Edit: and now, they are saying I have a child porn collection. So I'm not sure I believe their claim at this point either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well it's usually done to teen children's teen partners ime, but ok fine I hope your adult childs adult partner asks for copies for later, the age of the person making the creepy comment is really not important but I think it's worse if they're adults so I'll roll with it lol. Maybe she doesn't know her husband's proclivities, I'm not sure most pedos advertise it willingly, but he's "tooootally not gonna spank it he just wants it for archival purposes" lol.

If your wife says "not tonight I have a headache" do you ask for evidence of hypertension? If she says something you did made her upset do you ask for evidence in a peer reviewed paper on why X could possibly be psychologically damaging? I'd bet the answer is "no I take her word at face value because it is her feelings after all." But fuck the feelings of others? Would I have to begrudgingly have sex with you for you to take my word about my feelings?

[–] FlyingSquid -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My wife and I have her and my naked baby photos. We didn't have to ask for copies, they just gave us the family photo albums. And when parents die, that often happens automatically. It kind of feels like you don't know how any of this works.

And now you're comparing showing someone a naked baby to marital rape? Really?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I didn't say "baby photos" I said "if your wife tells you she is upset about something do you ask her for peer reviewed studies on how that something could possibly psychologically effect someone negatively, or do you just believe she is feeling how she says she is feeling?"

[–] FlyingSquid -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What on Earth does that have to do with parents causing their adult child psychological trauma by showing their partner naked baby pictures?

Did you think I meant showing it to their partner if they were adamant that you did not do so and it was going to hurt them? Did I ever even imply such a thing?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You seem to think people being upset about things is inconsequential without it going through a peer review process, I'm just trying to gauge where your limit is for that.

[–] FlyingSquid -2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Being upset about something is nowhere near the same as trauma. You're being silly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Where do you draw the line on how much discomfort/sadness/anger your actions cause before it becomes a wrong thing to do?

I understand embarrassing your adult child by showing child porn of them to their partner is below your bar, but can you describe how you figure out which side you are on?

Do you disagree with any traditions that are designed to embarrass someone? What about hazing in college or the military? What about making fun of girls over voice chat? If these are bad examples to you, can you come up with something else and answer about that?

[–] FlyingSquid -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Of course there are levels of unacceptable. And the level is above showing someone's adult partner a naked baby picture for fuck's sake.

I'd ask you if there is any level of discomfort that is acceptable? Tickling causes a level of discomfort, but also pleasure. Should I not tickle a child? Punishing a child when they do something wrong causes them discomfort and sadness and anger. Should time outs be considered child abuse?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Depends if you are talking legally or morally. I disagree with a lot of whats legal. Your examples are silly and easy to answer:

If they want to be tickled than yes, if not than no. Punishing the child is for their own best interest, not to get them to learn to listen to the king of the house better. We make decisions for them because they aren't capable of making the best decisions for themselves.

So how exactly does taking pictures of them naked when they are babies or children, help them in any way?

Its a stupid tradition. Embarrassing people is always bad. Purposely hurting people is always bad. Regardless of the trauma it causes it would still at best make you an incredibly selfish person.