this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2024
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Microsoft has been pushing hard for its users to sign into Windows with a Microsoft Account. The newest Windows 11 installer removed the easy bypass to the requirement that you make an account or login with your existing account. If you didn't install Windows 11 without a Microsoft Account and now want to stop sending the company your data, you can still switch to a local account after the fact. Microsoft even had instructions on how to do this on its official support website - or at least it used to...

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 6 months ago (2 children)

"Welcome to GoogleWindows. Please lick the screen so we can have your DNA to track you globally. Your 30 minutes of ads will begin shortly while we install our spyware on your device. Thank you from the MicrosoftAlphabet Family."

[–] cheese_greater 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

❌▫️➖

🔔Please ~~allow us~~ wait patiently as we fuck your wife pending verification of your identity and biometrics followed by approval of your aggregated digital activities

✅ | ❇️

Noo?! | Yesss


—Microsoft

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago (2 children)

As if they would ask permission.

We'll be fucking your wife now while we install features on your computer that you didn't ask for. If you'd like to be notified when we're done, please go fuck yourself.

[–] cheese_greater 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Windows is such a good name for what they are and do

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

and this is only the beggining

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

And there would be a clause that says; "We will also reset all the settings you changed that we want how we want. You no longer get to choose computer settings. Opt-in is now mandatory. Please show up at GoogleWindows headquarters to get your advertising ID Barcode tattooed on your writs."

[–] Aceticon 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Error!

You must wear your User Attention Validation Goggles ^TM^ during the device initialization period.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Where's the "please drink verification can" greentext when you need it