this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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To my knowledge there's no stagnant water on my property, I've run water through all my ptraps, and I'm careful to not leave doors open. Yet at any given time there's at least 3 in my house. I can't sleep, i can't sit on the couch, i can't exist in the fear of being sucked dry.

The breaking point is when i watched my dog get bit on her head. I'm ready to do whatever it takes and then some. I will kill a man if it saves me from these demons. Any ideas?

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[–] Krompus 88 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

I am allied with spiders against mosquitoes and bedbugs. I don't take down their webs (unless they're in the way) and they eat hundreds of the fuckers. They're also fun to watch sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I wish we could talk to spiders. I'd write an agreement with one that says, as long as it doesn't crawl on me, it can live in the house. I'll even build it a little shelf to protect from fan wind.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Huntsman don't make webs tho, are huge and repulsive, run very fast and tend to let themselves fall off the wall. I've moderate to intense arachnophobia, and I've one fall on my bed one night. Not pleasant at all.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would like to invasive species your huntsman we moved here and they have roaches in all the garages in the neighborhood (the place used to be an orchard, and before that like all of the americas an indian burial ground)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would also include a clause that says I never have to see it ever. It can basically be a roommate that lives in the basement and has their own entrance in the garage.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We can't write those agreements, but evolution could do it for us. I know that we kill an insignificant amount of them compared to how many are in the wild, but maybe certain spiders in urban areas could be under enough evolutionary strain to actually get better at staying out of our way.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure if this is good or bad news for our great (10^6) grandchildren. On the one hand, maybe they'll see less spiders. On the other hand, urban-camo spiders sounds horrifying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I woke up the other night gagging in my sleep. I swallowed spastically, compulsively over and over - something was in there. I coughed and wheezed and choked for what felt like hours before it was gone. But a lump lingered until I finally fell asleep again. I chose to believe it was a common house fly, but it went down large and hard.

The moral is, its not about seeing the spiders, its about having stupid, instinct-only vermin that will crawl into any dark, moist space it finds. Their instinct doesn't even allow for a concept of what a human is. They only know how to eat and screw and maybe be afraid.

[–] Krompus 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had spiders crawl on me even while living with them, and yeah it still makes me squirm. They usually mind their own business.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah same. My issue is I'm irrationally afraid of the possibility.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We had a "pet" spider that lived in the kitchen. There was this spot the ants kept getting in, and he (? I assume) moved there and just started eating the ants. I hate ants. And so a pact was formed. Then one year my mom hired a cleaning lady and she didn't bother to ask about Gerald.

[–] otter_bee 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I wish my wife didn't have some gnarly arachnophobia. The "spiders are beneficial" argument doesn't work :(

[–] Krompus 2 points 1 year ago

She might be able to overcome it with education and exposure.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

What the spiders don’t know is that I’m also allied with the house centipedes. And neither of them know about my treaty with the cats.

[–] LaunchesKayaks 3 points 1 year ago

I have so many spiders on my property. My fave is the bold jumper that lives in my living room. He started off by moving in and residing in a box of captain crunch. I let him live there and he left eventually and moved to the living room. Idk what he ate when he lived the cereal box, but he got significantly bigger.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I only remove brown recluse spiders, most other types of household spiders can be trusted.

[–] Krompus 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, identify any actually dangerous spiders in your area and don't keep them, most are harmless though.