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Are there any macro pads that can be programmed via a text file stored onboard?
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VIA is at the firmware level. You can program it on a personal computer then plug it into your work computer.
That's my worst case, but I'd rather not as there are times when I'd like to change the macros during work and I won't be bringing a personal computer with me to work to do so.
If you're allowed to have flash media, KMK as mentioned elsewhere just lives on the microcontroller as a python script, and the keymap is very human readable. I have made everything from a 4x3 macropad to a 102-key compact 1800 with it.
Buy the cheapest VIA capable device you can find and bring it in to work to test.